In a funk

I've been in this funk lately that is really tough to get out of for some reason. Professionally, I like where I am and where I am going. Personally, it is a different story. I realize that my life revolves around my job. Not a good thing. This year, my goal is to work on having a more personal life. With a few exceptions, I'm not staying late every single night after school like I have in the past. I know that I need to get a life outside of school. It's so tough. Most of my friends now are married or in serious relationships. Trying to meet new people is difficult.

For the dating scene, a few years ago, I tried Match.com to try Internet dating. Not into the bar scene - not a healthy environment. I had a few dates. Nothing too spectacular. Recently, I tried EHarmony because I heard of few success stories from some of my former colleagues at Timberlane that tried it and had great luck with it. So, I spend three hours answering the questionnaire. The questions pertained to every topic: finances, relationships (past and present - men, friends, family, etc.), career, etc. The end result: I fall under the 20% of the population that is considered "incompatible"! Ughy! Maybe Dad is right - maybe I am too damn picky! I feel I have to be picky - I was in a miserable relationship for seven years (too much drama and personal to get into it - all my close peeps know what and whom I am referring to). I tend to be attracted to assholes and abusive men so I'm trying to be smart about this dating thing. It's an endless cycle!

I've been getting active with organizations to meet other people outside my normal circle: I joined a professional educator's association for women. I'm in a book club. Any other suggestions from folks would be appreciated too - :-) I think it is important to have friends from all kinds of backgrounds.

I do admit it is hard for me to open up. I have major trust issues. A lot of this stems from my childhood.

Such a drama! I'm just feeling lonely - I know I have a lot of family and friends that love and support me. I'm not questioning that - it's the companionship issue that I'm missing the most right now.