Flu bug kicks my butt!

Hello. I know. It's been so long since I've posted. Please forgive me. Once you read this post, you will so understand why!

Here's the scoop:

Tuesday morning at school, I started to feel very icky! When I mean icky. . . . I mean icky! The school nurse had to drive me home because it was that bad. I spent the next three days vomiting and diarrhea and sleeping on the bathroom floor. Not a pleasant experience. School nurse and Dr. informs me that this icky thing is going around the school systems. GREAT!

I already had a scheduled Dr's appt on Thursday for "other" stuff. The Dr. told me that I was "dangerously dehydrated". Great! Just what I need. And, I've lost over 30 pounds with all the stress and sickness. Double great! Not the way I want to lose much needed weight but I'll take it.

Update on evaluation: Since I've been out sick, on Friday, I went to my Principal and requested that we move the evaluation to next week. He told me to see him early in the week and we can reschedule.

Update on job situation: Nothing new to report except I've been applying to teaching jobs all over MA and southern NH. No interviews yet. Stress level at an all-time high at this point.

Oh . . . . my saving grace . . . watching the Soprano's on DVD! :-) I'm working my way through season four!

Formal Evaluation?

Get this. . .

As you ALL know, I've been formally let go by my high school at the end of the school year. Yes, I have to act like nothing is wrong until June 23rd.

I go to my mailbox at the end of the day today and what do I find? A formal evaluation form to fill out. With it - attached a note from the Principal stated that "under the circumstances" I can forego the formal evaluation to be completed by him. HELL NO! I want him to come into my classroom! I showed Peter, my dept chair the note and Peter's response, "What do you have to lose?"

I just can't get over the fact that my Principal has never come into my classroom formally to observe me and made the decision to not renew my contract.

I don't claim to be the best teacher in the world - I'm a good teacher who is always looking for improvements and honest critique.

I've decided to have my principal do the formal evaluation. I have a few concerns regarding his professionalism and the evaluation.

I have a pre-conference meeting on Friday at 8:00 am and the formal observation takes place on Monday, 9:00-10:30 am. Should be interesting to see how this all plays out . . . . . . .

The End of April Vacation

Well, it's been an interesting week here at the homestead.

Lea and Joann left on Tuesday. We had such a nice visit. I took them into Boston on Friday, Newburyport on Saturday, Salem and Kittery Outlets on Monday, and the beach on Tuesday before they left for IL. On Wednesday, I had a dentist appt - fillings for cavities. I've been good for so long with my teeth and all of sudden - WHAM! On Thursday, I got new tires for the car ($320.00). Ughy lots of money! Worked in the afternoon at my doggie place. Had Book Club that evening. Today, I had to have a plumber come and unplug my tub - it wouldn't drain. I tried everything - Liquid Plumber, this real industrial stuff from Home Depot, nothing worked! Final Cost - $250! Ughy! The joys of owning your own property.

Not much to report on the job search. I'm really stressing about it. There isn't a lot out there. Plus, schools are cutting back their budgets so I'm almost too expensive to hire. I'm fine financially until the end of August. After that, I'm totally screwed!

Please be thinking lots of happy and positive thoughts for me!

And, if you see a position for a high school history or social studies teacher, let me know!

Pictures from Visit

Joann, Carla, Lea, and I at Warren's - Kittery, Maine.

Joann and I at the beach - Plum Island, Newburyport, MA.

Joann, Lea, and I at Old North Church in Boston, MA.

Happy Easter All!

Happy Easter Everyone!

I have Joann and Lea out here visiting from IL.

The menu for Easter: spiral ham, Green Rice, Greenbean casserole, crossants, salad, chocolate cake, cookies, etc. Yummy!

Enjoy your day -

Trying to Move On . . . .

This has been the toughest week for me.

Thank God for my wonderful family, friends, and work colleagues for being there and helping me get through this - I'm so blessed to have such a strong support system.

Monday was hard. I was very emotional all day. The kids knew something was up. I was told to not tell them yet. I'm not ready to tell them either. My colleagues kept checking in on me all day long. Everybody is so emotional and depressed right now. The morale in the building is pretty low right now.

I took up the offer of that recommendation letter from my Principal. When you read it, you want to ask yourself, "If I'm such a wonderful teacher according to this letter, then why the hell are you letting me go?" It makes absolutely no sense at all.

Peter, my dept. Chair, wrote my a great letter too! He's been so wonderful about everything! Again, very blessed that I have a dept chair who really truly cares!

I've been calling in a few favors to some of my parents of the students I have taught - they work at other school systems in the area and have asked for their help in trying to find a new job. I've also asked a few of them to write me a recommendation letter. All the parents I've spoken with are in absolute shock about me leaving. They want me to stay. I want to stay. But, fate has something else in store for me.

Oh, and get this one! My Principal is leaving next year. He received a job offer at another school for more money! That's what makes this even more mean and hurtful! Part of me wonders is the "problem" with him or another administrator in the building.

Again, thank you everyone that has responded to the last post. Your support and strength is what will get me through this horrible bump in my life!

I Love Ya All!

Life just sucks!

I know it's been a while since I've posted on my blog. The initial reason was that softball season started up and I've been very busy with that. However, I received some devastating news on Friday.

I've been trying to muster up the nerve to share this information so here it goes:

I was pulled out of my classroom at the end of the day on Friday to be told by my Principal that I would not be coming back next school year. I was numb. I was upset. I was sick to my stomach. I asked why and his response is that he legally can't tell me why because I'm within the first three years. Yes, I've been fired. I thought I was a good teacher. I thought I was doing everything right. Apparently not. Thank God for my colleagues in the History/English Office. They were completely shocked by this news - it makes not sense they tell me. They tell me I'm dedicated, caring, and a good teacher. What makes this even worse is that the principal (who hardly ever "works" with me or seen me teach) overrided my Dept Chair's decision. Peter, my chair, fought hard to keep me. Peter works with me everyday. He's seen me in the classroom many times! My formal evaluations are great from Peter and the other administrators in the building. I have received no formal evaluation from my Principal in the three years I've been in the school. Unfortunately, the union can't do anything because of the law so their hands are tied. How am I supposed to grow as an educator and learn from this experience if I'm not told what I did wrong?

The students knew something was up today because I looked like crap (I haven't slept all weekend and everything I eat comes up). Kids are very perceptive! I was told to wait a while to tell them I'm leaving. They are going to freak out! I don't like having to lie to them.

Can I just say how blessed I am to have such great friends and family in my life? Everybody has been so supportive to me during this very difficult time.

I'm feeling a lot right now: anger, what the hell did I do wrong?, scared, confusion, etc. I just don't understand why I was let go. I also know that I can't wrack my brain and overanalyze this or I'll go crazy.

As I've posted in prior posts, I'm very dedicated and emotionally connected to my school. I'm invested! So, I'm taking this very hard. I just don't get it. I probably will never find out why I was let go. All I can do is move forward.

I have many concerns right now. First, is my mortgage and other bills. Second, health insurance. I'm also worried that because I have seven years experience, I'm almost too expensive to hire. We are having major budget cuts out here in MA in education so I keep thinking if I'll be able to find a job.

I also need to re-evaluate my professional life. I adore teaching. But, maybe this a wakeup call for me to stop having my job focus around my life. It's so easy for me to throw myself into my job. After Paul and I broke up, I literally threw myself into my job because I didn't want to feel all that hurt. Being a workaholic is not a good thing in the field of education because people can take advantage of you. So, I pose a question: how do I maintain a level of being the best history teacher that I can be, but also have a life outside of school?

Today, I resigned from the softball coach position. I can't be an effective coach and look for a job at the same time. I felt bad for the varsity coach to leave her on short notice but I need to do what it is best for me. I put everyone else ahead of my own feelings that I never think of myself. That changed today. Luckily, the athletic director and the varsity coach were very supportive. They are both in shock of me being let go too.

My parents have been great. Of course, one of the comments out of the mouth was: "You can always come back to IL." I've been out here since 1994. Moving back to IL would not solve my problems. I'm happy here. Even though I continue to have these small set backs, I'm still happy here. I do the best I can. I just wish that my parents would realize that.

So, after this huge book that I just babbled out to the cyber world, this is the reason why I haven't been blogging a lot lately.