Last week, I felt like I was on this emotional roller coaster ride. There were some ups and downs going on throughout the week that really messed up my karma. Let's review the week, shall we?
*I was supposed to chaperon a trip to London during my April vacation with one of my colleagues from school. ONE kid pulled out so now if I want to chaperon, I would need to come up with the $1500 plus spending money to go on the trip. I agreed to chaperon in the beginning since I wouldn't have to pay for the trip. The deal is they needed a certain number of students to go on the trip per chaperon. London is one of my favorite cities in the world to visit and I really wanted to go on that trip. Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of money.
*My HS made it to the finals for Mock Trial but ended up second in the state. If they would've won first place, they would be going to Washington DC for nationals. The kids did an amazing job and in the history of our school had never made it to the top 16 let alone the finals so it was a huge deal.
*Pink slips were given out on Friday to all teachers on waivers (mostly Math and Science folks). I was having severe panic attacks all day Friday - I was having the memory of what happened to me last year and not having my contract renewed (no reason given). I'm not on a waiver but you can't feel that anxiety and wonder if I will lose my job again. I've received two evaluations so far and they've been wonderful but I had wonderful evaluations at my last school too. As far as we know, my school will not be having budget cuts (unlike the majority of the schools in MA) so I hope to have a job next school year.
*I was officially notified by the University of IL of the Fulbright-Hays grant that I was one of fourteen teachers in the country chosen to go to Russia for five weeks this summer. However, they are still waiting on the gov't to approve the grant money. No grant money - no trip. My family and some friends are not happy about this since they see all sorts of danger traveling abroad right now for an American. Instead of being proud and happy for me, they are stressing out and trying to convince me to not go on the trip. Joy! I understand their stress however, I truly believe that I can't live my life in fear and this is too incredible of an opportunity for me (personally and professionally) to pass up if we get the grant money.
*I met with one of friends/former colleagues from my old school on Friday night. We ate dinner here and chatted and caught up. She told me that morale and attitude at my old school are not positive. They will have some major cuts in teaching positions. And, the interim Principal is not doing her job. She sits in her office all day and does nothing. I have heard similar stories from other former colleagues and students too. This colleague is having a major issue right now with an AP English students' parents and this Principal is not siding with my friend. It sounds like my colleague will be leaving education within the next few years because she's sick and tired and fighting the good fight for her students. The job is incredibly harder now and even though she's an amazing educator (she really is an amazing teacher!!!), she just can't deal with the administration and politics anymore. She's been teaching for eight years (same as me) and is really frustrated with the bureaucracy - can ya blame her?
So, that was my week. I know that I've been in this negative place for a while and it's so hard to just get out of the funk. I think it doesn't help that I also have some personal stuff going on too. My family and non-teacher friends are getting sick of hearing me complain. I have no one else to vent to so I apologize that they are getting the blunt of this abuse.
I have such a difficult time separating my personal life with my professional life - probably since I don't have much of a personal life. That was one goal that I wanted to work on this year. I did go on one date that was a flop so at least I'm getting out there again.
This stinky thinking has got to go! What's a gal to do??????????
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2 comments:
First of all you don't complain much at all and I would never get sick of listening to you talk.
I am keeping everything crossed as humanly possible for you to get that Russia trip you deserve it!
As for the down stuff...i'm sorry:(
I had no idea about all of this going on.
Thank goodness they kept you at your school but of course they would cuz your a fantastic teacher. I just sorry you had to go through that mess before!
Oh my goodness... you are such a special and caring person... but hey, don't let anyone stress you out about wanting to go to Russia. There is never a safe time to go anywhere... Accidents happen everywhere... At least you can look at your life and "travels" and enjoy the times and memories. Go on every trip possible, go to dinner with friends, take a nap when you feel like it, make time for the important stuff, NOT JUST WORK... Do what makes you happy!
And about the "complaining"... thats not how anyone sees it... you are just sharing your feelings, no one would be happy about those things going on, so just keep being you and sharing all of your feelings!
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