Time flies . . .

Hello All. Don't know who is even still reading this blog.

The past year has been a challenge personally and professionally.

Maybe because I'm turning 40 in Feb or maybe I'm just starting to realize that I need to stop sweating the small stuff. . . . life is too short.

For twelve years, my life has been education. Teaching. My students. I never put my needs before my students or even colleagues. As I approach the big 40 and being alone, I realized that as much as I love my job and love my students, I need to put myself first. I just don't know how to be the educator and personal human being that I need to be in my life.

My primary goal for 2011 is to start putting myself first and work on ME as a human. To be happy. Sounds so simple. But it's not simple. At least for me.

Stay tuned . . . . . . .

1st drama for AP Euro History class . . . don't ya just LOVE drama???

Here's the scoop.

Last April after my new AP Euro History course was FINALLY approved by the school committee, I was asked to submit my request for new AP textbooks and whatever materials I needed to start up the course. So I completed the task by the first week in May. I submitted the paperwork into my head teacher who writes up a PO to the Principal who then submitted the PO to Asst. Super's office. Asst. Super's office signs off on the PO which then gets sent to the Business Office at City Hall. By the end of May, the PO is sent to the Business Office at City Hall. Are you all still with me? Good.

Fast forward to last week. I get a phone call from my head teacher. There has been a problem with the new textbooks. I ask what's the problem. He tells me that the PO for the new textbooks has been SITTING on somebodies desk at City Hall since the end of May so the order was never processed to the Publishing Company!!!!!!!! Lovely. The PO was sitting on a desk since the end of May over at City Hall????? Seriously people. What the $%*&#@?

Last week, my head teacher called the Publishing Company and asked where were the textbooks? Publishing company said they never received the PO. So, my head teacher makes a million phone calls to track down the PO. He discovers the PO is STILL at City Hall. The person at City Hall doesn't even apologize for it. No sorry I messed up. No oops . . . I just caused a major problem for your teachers. He signs off on the PO and faxes the PO to my head teacher and tells my head teacher to put the order into the Publishing Company!!! Like the business dept guy can't fax it himself? The info for the Publishing Company was on the PO so the guy could have faxed it himself.

And, it wasn't just my textbooks. The AP US History teacher isn't getting his new textbooks either. At least he can use his old textbooks. Since my course is brand spanking new, I have no old textbooks to rely on.

Sometimes . . . I hate people. Or should I just say I hate the city that I teach in bureaucracy :-(

So I have some options since I won't get my textbooks on time. Luckily I have one copy of the textbook already so I guess I get to waste tax payer money by photocopying the chapters until the textbooks arrive. I've already planned on giving my students a reading assignment in the textbook the first week of school. Since I'm planned all the way until November, I need to stay on my time schedule. Or I can just not give them any readings. I like my first option better. :=)

If there is an easy way or hard way (usually the least productive as well) to do things in my school system, they choose the hard way. Everything in the system is done this way. I just don't get it. I don't know if it's because it's a City. I don't know if it's because we hire incompetent people. I just don't get it. It's VERY frustrating. I don't want to waste paper and ink by photocopying materials. I'm very big on doing my job productively and efficiently.

On a more positive note: I am enjoying my last long weekend of freedom until school starts up on Tuesday. Teachers have professional days on Tuesday and Wednesday. Students arrive on Thursday.

Stay tuned for more drama . . . .

Survival of the Fittest - gotta love the Darwin theory!

The above title pretty much sums up my school year. What can I say? It's been stressful, emotional, scary, insane, unpredictable, and crazy all rolled into one school year. An emotional roller coaster ride is the best way to describe it.

Being apart of the transition program has pretty much burned me out. Working with 30 at risk 9th grade students had been anything but easy this year. There were some success. But mostly failure. I still can't believe that I survived this year and lived to tell the tale. :-)

It was decided that instead of placing all the at risk students in one class (and have them feed off of each other), they would be mixed again with the regular student population for next school year. In a sense, this program was a trial program. Everyone figured that this might be a way to educate these students. The major problem that we (the transition team) saw with these students was that there were no positive role models (behavior, good grades, etc) and the students basically didn't progress the way they should have in the classroom. For example, I spent the first three months teaching social and behavior skills (I was told my administration to not focus on curriculum) to these students. Add to it: the administration provided no support to the teachers. It was a program that was doomed to fail from the start. All four core education teachers (including myself) felt that we couldn't do this program on our own. We were given no training in dealing with this type of student population. So a few of these students will move on to 10th grade with hardly any skills they should've developed this past school year. I'm not saying that I didn't do some great stuff with these kids because I did. However, as a whole, the program was not a success.

Other news . . . this will be the last year that I teach the local history course. No one in my department wanted to teach it so they dumped the class on a colleague that really didn't want it or have the passion to teach it. I feel bad for the students because I've been building up that course and a lot of students sign up for it because I teach it. Plus, I had started doing some interdisciplinary field trips this past year. I can guarantee those field trips won't happen. I'm sadden that I won't be able to teach this course but I'm moving on to something bigger . . .

I will be teaching a new course - AP European History. The course is a 12th grade elective and I have 37 students signed up (enough for two sections). I'm very excited about it but also a little scared. I will now have to be held accountable and responsible for teaching to a test. It's time to be professionally challenged and I think this may be the course to allow me to become a stronger educator in the classroom. And, I've never taught the higher end students before. This will be a nice change.

So to go back to my original title of this post: only the strong survive. That would be MDawg the survivor (start singing the Destiny's Child song if you like)! :-)

The Life of a High School Teacher in an Urban School . . . . . .

It seems that the drama never ends at my school.

We've been dealing with all sorts of problems the last few weeks. I think partly because the bad economy impacts our kids (we have a high percentage of students that come from low socio-economic backgrounds) and partly because the few weeks before any school vacation our kids go into "crazy mode" - you see, we provide stability and safety for a lot of our students. When their usual schedule is disrupted in any way, they react to it by getting into a lot of fights or causing serious problems within the school community.

Example 1: Last week, there were three REALLY bad fights in the cafeteria. One of the fights involved one student using his keys to stab another student in the kidney (yes, the keys punctured the kidney). There was blood everywhere. :-(

Example 2: A freshman boy (one of my kids) is being accused of forcing a girl to perform oral sex on him by knife point (the incident didn't happen on school grounds but the school is involved). The boy is out of school for the rest of the school year pending the investigation.

Example 3: One of our students was beaten up by her 21 year old boyfriend in front of our school while holding their 1 year child while a lot of our students (and teachers) watched it (this happened in the morning while students were being dropped off at school so teachers and students were walking into the building and witnessed everything). The police were immediately called. The police were in the building on Thursday questioning everyone on what they saw.

Example 4: One of my freshman gals had a baby back in November (yes, if you do the math, she got pregnant in middle school). The father of the baby (17 years old) was just arrested for robbery (he tried to steal a safe from the local movie theatre and got caught).

Example 5: In one of my classes, at least half of the parents in that class are laid off from their jobs. I've noticed a significant difference in behavior like acting out, being disrespectful to me or other kids in the class, etc.

It's been a very tough few weeks having to deal with all of this AND try and teach these kids World History. All of these events are impacting the kids in some way. They bring it into the classroom every single day. And, as the adult, I try and provide a fun learning environment for the kids since they are dealing with all of this drama around them. I will admit that I do take a lot of this emotional stuff home with me since it is impacting me too. I worry about my students.

I am VERY grateful for the long weekend (we get Good Friday off from school). I will admit the past few weeks have been double stressful since 3rd quarter ended and I had to do grades. We have next week in school and then we get the following week off for April break. I have never been so excited to have a break in my life. I just hope that I (and the kids) can make it through the end of next week.

To end on a positive note: A colleague of mine asked me if I would go with her to North Carolina for April break (her daughter is looking at colleges down there and she wanted the adult company). I said yes! So, I think this will be a good break for me.

Happy Easter! Happy Passover! :=)

Crazy random thoughts by: MDawg

*It's hard to believe that I've been blogging since November 2005. I enjoy blogging for many reasons but the best part is to just vent about life in general. I think we all go through those up and down spells in our life. A blog allows us to release those frustrations and good things in life through writing. So, happy blogiversary (if there is such a word) to MDawg! :-)



*Is there anyone else out there in the teaching world that is frustrated with all the state mandated testing and teaching to a test thing???? My school keeps putting more on us (curriculum) and it seems like we are just spinning our wheels. Ugh.



*I have a fab SPED co-teacher this year! She is amazing! She's so hands-on with the kids. And, the best part: for the first time in three years that I've been teaching at this school, my SPED kids all passed 1st quarter! I truly believe it's because they are finally getting all of their accommodations met by herself and me. We work together great!

*Had a rough start to the school year with this year's freshman but FINALLY . . . we might have worked all the bugs out of their system and the transition to high school is working. Yah! :-)

*Dad is officially retired as of Saturday. Mom will be retired on Wednesday. They both have worked so hard for their dream of traveling around the country in a camper. The house is sold. The car is sold. Most of their belongings are either sold, in storage, or given to my sister or I. Mom and Dad will move in with my sister over this next weekend (for the month of December). I fly out to Chicago on the 24th of December and will be out there until Jan 3rd. After the 3rd (Mom and Dad will drop me off at Midway Airport), Mom and Dad will take the camper out of storage and leave for FL. I'm excited for their new adventure!

*Shorten week at school: we are officially in Spirit Week. Monday is pajama day. Tuesday is dress as a class day. Wednesday is school spirit day with a pep rally and early release (we get out at 11:00 am). I'm soooo wearing PJ's tomorrow! :-) Oh, since I'm no longer a class advisor, I can now enjoy Spirit Week! :-)

*Spending Thanksgiving with friends and their families. I'm so blessed to have wonderful people in my life that adopt me over the holidays. :-)

Oh, list out one thing you are grateful for this year. (I'm grateful for my family and friends and the love and support they give me - and Ellie the Cat!) :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Etc, etc, etc. . . . . .

It's been a productive yet insanely busy few weeks in the life of M-Dawg.

Where do I begin?

*Volleyball season officially ended on Friday with a rematch for varsity against our rival. We won! Life will settle down a bit for a while. No more riding on a school bus with 40 screaming teenage girls trying to sing the Barney song at the top of their lungs. Are you not just so jealous of me as you read this?

*Had a fund raiser for Harvard Model Congress on Saturday. A local business donates their parking lot to our school to charge tourists during the month of October that are visiting our lovely city. We made $880! All money raised will deter the costs of the conference over Feb break. It was a little chilly on Saturday - I sat outside 8-5 all day. I was so numb that I thought my fingers would break off.

*Still enjoying having my weekends off. I'm still doing stuff on the weekends - like proctoring SAT's or doing fund raising stuff for my groups that I advise but it's different. I'm not stressing out about it or getting annoyed which is a good thing.

*My former roommate from a few years ago is living with me until Jan 1st. She's looking for a place to live permanently. She sold her house to her son and daughter-in-law. Today, we went looking at places and I think she found a place that she likes and is reasonably priced.

*I signed up for a local history seminar on Wednesday that I'm excited about and they are paying $125! Bonus!

*The ecomony is soooo depressing . . . how's everyone holding up?

*Wish I had some news on the love front. If anyone has any suggestions on how to meet a nice guy, let me know.

OK, that's about it for updates. I somewhat have limited of computer access since my roommate is using the second bedroom (my computer is located in that room).

Where do I begin with my crazy schedule and life?

It's been a crazy few weeks at school and at home. Where do I begin?


*Volleyball season is almost over - I have two more games this week and my JV season will be over. Varsity will have to play in tournament so I'm expected to help out with varsity practices and games. It's been a wonderful yet exhausting experience. I will probably coach again next year (the varsity coach already told me he wants me back).


*It's been a weird school year thus far. The freshman this year are interesting - especially on my team. We have a lot of kids that can't read or write. Behavior is out of control (had one of my 14 year old boys' suspended out of school for carrying a huge bottle of vodka and bag of pot in his back pack). We have four students that "suck their thumbs" (they are 14 years old). Add to this that I was already formally evaluated, have had way too many meetings with parents, and administration is finally holding teachers accountable (I'm not knocking it but it creates for a more stressful working environment). Luckily, I'm a teacher that follows rules but I'm still afraid that I'm going to mess up.


*I now have a roommate in my condo. My former roommate sold her house to her oldest son and wife and needed a temporary place to live until she finds somewhere to live. The extra money will be nice but I didn't realize how small my place really is until you get another person in it.


*The economy has me (and everyone else in the world) all stressed out. I'm so afraid of looking at my 403B - I'm sure I lost a ton of money the past few weeks. Good thing I won't be needing my retirement money any time soon.


*Mom and Dad finally had the closing on their house last week. So they are officially living in the camper full time now. It just seems weird to me that they will be retired soon and traveling full time. This is their dream and I'm happy for them but I'm still having a tough time dealing with it.


*A lot of my friends at school are pregnant. Although I'm happy for them, makes me feel lonely and sad about my own relationship status. Sometimes, it still bothers me that I don't have a wonderful guy in my life. On a funny note: we think there may be something in the water at my school since everyone is getting pregnant. :-)


*Really miss my friends. I'm feeling isolated and lonely. It seems forever since I've chatted or seen a lot of them and I could really use a quality gal's night out soon.


*So far, I've been able to financially survive by not working on the weekends at the doggie store. I've been able to find other forms of income to help out. Proctoring SAT's and PSAT's, babysitting, and the coaching has been good. I was thinking maybe during the month of December working on Sundays only but I don't know if the owner would go for that or not. I'm concerned about having money for Christmas which is why I might work on Sundays. I've been looking for other jobs but there is not much out there since the economy is so bad.

Busy week . . . .

It's been a busy yet productive week.

Working at second job (30 hours). Appt's. Meeting at Witch House to incorporate service learning into my local history class. Planning first unit of World History. Getting stuff done around the condo. Oil change. Meeting with friends for quality time (included a lobster dinner - Yummy). :-)

I signed up for an organization class which I'm excited about taking next week. It's online and lasts for about four weeks. It cost $50 (normally $100). I have to pick one small project (I think I'm going to pick my closet in my bedroom) to organize. I'll try and remember to post before and after pictures. :-)

How was your week?

How do you like yourself?

I promised myself that I would work on ME this summer. Getting myself into a better frame of mind: physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Here is the update.

The mental part has been difficult. It's been really hard to think positively about myself when I don't like myself. So I've been trying to work on liking myself (not that I ever did like myself). When I was younger, I used to "fake" being happy since that is what everyone in my life seemed to expect of me. I realize that people can't be happy 24/7 but I can be happy some of the time. I've felt like a hypocrite since I'm always telling my students to like and love themselves and accept themselves for who they are or are becoming in this world. How can I tell my students to like themselves when I don't even like me for me? There are a lot of reasons why I've felt like I was never good enough. Some of it stems from child hood crap which I don't want to get into on this blog. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and realized that there are some people in my life that bring me down as a person. I'm working on removing this folks out of my life. I also work in two jobs that don't appreciate me (being a teacher speaks for itself and the other job is a long story). Regarding the teaching aspect, I'm working on trying to be positive in a very negative environment. If it means that I have to isolate myself and not be around the negative people, that is what I will have to do. The best feeling I have in the world is being in the classroom with my students and teaching them World History. The other job scenario: I can no longer be trusted (according to the owner) due to an incident and she believes what she wants of me no matter what I say to her. I can't work for someone that doesn't trust me. So, I will be doing some soul searching (and looking for another job) to better that situation. I've worked there for almost four years and all that retail experience is down the drain (I don't think I could even use the owner as a reference since I can't trust her to say anything nice about me). Nothing I do (or anyone else that works in the store) is good enough and it gets old after a while. I've also become very resentful that I have to work a second job after teaching for ten years. I'm sick of always working and never getting ahead. I adore the dogs. They are the best part of the job. But I've felt like I've been in an emotional abused relationship the past few years working there. I completely acknowledge that I'm not always the easiest person to be around at times but either is the owner (we are both VERY MUCH alike when it comes to be moody which is why we clash - I see that - she does not). So I'm going back to being "fake happy" to please her and that is not the way I want to live my life. The soul searching continues . . . . . . . . . .

The physical part has been a struggle. My shoulder still bothers but I'm putting off getting the surgery. I'm hoping that if I lose some weight, it might help the pain in my shoulder. I'm eating better now and exercising. I figure that if I look better and healthier, maybe I will like myself too. Food has always been an addiction of mine and I'm an emotional eater. Hence, the weight issues. Since I start coaching volleyball the end of August, I figured that I better get back into shape again. Gotta be a positive role model to the girls on the team! :-)

The spiritual part is also a struggle for me. I've been trying mediation to help relax me. Formal/organized religion doesn't seem to work (I was brought up Catholic and I don't believe in what the church stands for anymore). I feel like I need some type of spirituality in my life to grow as a person.

It's been a struggle but I'm working on it . . . . one day at a time. I don't expect miracles. But being truly happy and content with my life would be a wonderful way to start out the school year.

Thank you to all my supportive friends and Blog buddies - you all rock! :-)

It's been a long school year . . . .

Thank you for all your comments and words of support on the last post.

My last day of school is June 20th and it can't come soon enough. I hate wishing my life away but it's been one hell of a school year.

Still don't know anything about the cuts. My principal is still going through cut process. The rumor mill claims that 19 teachers will be leaving on their own merit at the end of the school year anyway so maybe that will save some jobs.

Because of the horrible contract that was voted in and all the teacher cut drama that occurred in January, I think most people are fed up with my school system.

Not a lot of teaching jobs out there for History/Social Studies. And, when I do apply, I'm guessing the reason why they won't call me in for an interview is that I'm too expensive to hire. Why hire someone with 10 years teaching experience when you can hire someone under 3 years and pay them less money? I'd like to point out that you get what you pay for but school districts don't care in this day and age of saving money.

So, it's the waiting game. We shall see what happens over the next few weeks.

I'm not posting a lot because this time of the school year is very busy and rough with activities going on almost every single day after school or in the evenings. My calendar for school has no empty time after school or in the evenings. And throw in all the correcting, grades, and trying to finish up my World History curriculum (World War II come hell or high water!) by the end of the school year and my brain is on overload! It's crazy! And, I'm not able to read a lot of blogs until the weekend. I actually had Saturday off so I was able to catch up on my blog reading and comments.

I've also been thinking a lot about how negative this blog has been or gotten the past school year. Over the summer, I'll be doing some "housecleaning" of my life and my blog. :-) I'm going to work on trying to put myself in a better mind set, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Stay tuned . . . . .

So, be good. Be safe. And, I'll be writing soon. Just a break. :-)

Updates . . . . . . and Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom - Joela. She's a rockin' lady!!! :-)

Updates:
*Budget cuts will occur at my school by the end of the school year. The stress and drama returns. Please be thinking happy thoughts . . . . I've been applying to schools but I'm too expensive to hire (It will be 10 years of teaching next school year for me).

*I applied for a Summer Institute for a week in July and got it. They are going to pay me $1000 stipend and 3 graduate credits for five days of work. Bonus! :-)

*It's been a rough school year. Between no contract, budget cut drama in January, rough students on my team, my team (teachers) not getting along, having an "illegal" teaching schedule (by contract, I'm supposed to get a 90 minute planning period every day; I'm getting a 40 minute planning period on the second day which is in violation of our teaching contract), and having the SPED teacher from hell, I'm really ready for the school year to be over. I'm exhausted. :-(

*A few weeks ago my colleagues and I were lucky enough to have a Professional day to write out our Common Assessment for final exams. The four of us were excited to be collaborating since we all get along and work well together. For the first hour, we were doing great. Then guess who decided to join us? That SPED teacher that I've been complaining about for the past two years! He invited himself to our common assessment day! He did nothing! I mean it! Nothing! Except sleep of course! I actually took a picture of him sleeping w/ one of my colleagues cell phone! I know . . . not the most professional thing to do but we all thought it might provide photo evidence of what is actually going on in our classrooms. We ended up deleting the photos but it was funny! Sad but funny. He would occasionally interrupt us and talk about stuff that had nothing to do with the Common Assessment. At one point, one of my colleagues got fed up. So, I went down to our Housemaster to tell him what was going on (The Housemaster is the one that arranged for us to meet to complete the Common Assessment). My Housemaster was annoyed that the SPED teacher was not doing what he was supposed to be doing and that the SPED teacher crashed the "party" so to speak. BUT, he still allowed the SPED teacher to stay with us for the entire day. I swear my administrators need to grow some balls and stop worrying about "hurting" feelings (this is how it was explained to me). Never mind that the SPED guy does nothing and doesn't accommodate the students needs.

*My co-advisor and I will be resigning at the end of the school as class advisers to the Class of 2010. The Sophomore Social stuff and all the drama from the past year is ridiculous so we've had enough. The Class President is difficult to work with and the rest of the class officers do nothing. And, I'm sick of it. And, I'm sick of the President telling me that I'm not doing everything when in reality I do a lot. It is not my job to do HIS job. I tell him what needs to be done because I'm trying to teach him responsibility. He doesn't see that so I'm the bitch and bad guy.

*Wish I could report more on my love life. The online dating just didn't work. I'm such a romantic and kept wishing for some great, nice guy to sweep me off my feet. True love is not meant for me. It's sad but it's the reality. I'm accepting that it's not meant for me to be married or have children. At 37 years old, slightly overweight, and not a catch . . . . it is what it is.

So, these are the updates in the life of M-Dawg.

Update on life

Just wanted to do an update on what is going on in M-Dawg's world (warning - VERY negative post!):

*I didn't get the teaching position at my first school. I received the phone call last night. The assistant principal (I'm friends with him) wanted to tell me over the phone instead of waiting for the letter. I'm upset and disappointed. For five years, all I've heard from administrators and other teachers was how they wanted me to come back. Nice.

*Survived the Sophomore Social (dance) for my class. My co-advisor and I have decided that we will resign at the end of the school year from being their class advisor. The officers do absolutely nothing and we are not paid enough to deal with the stress and bullshit.

*My classroom is currently in a modular trailer. I've been in the trailer for 1 1/2 year. The entire freshman house is moving out the trailers over April break. I filled out my request form over a month ago for boxes and moving supplies. When do I get my supplies and boxes: a week ago! I have a ton of shit to pack. Luckily, I have student leaders and a colleague of mine helped me pack most of it. It will be nice to be back in the main building again. Strange. They are moving us to a temporary classroom until June. Then they will move us to our permanent home which will be up on the third floor. I won't be unpacking anything except for two boxes of stuff I need to get me through the rest of the school year.

*My shoulder is still painful. I have an appt next week with an orthopedic surgeon.

*Good news: I'm on April break starting on Monday. A whole week off from school. I do have a busy week filled with appointments and working at Paws.

*I really need a break from school. I'm in such a bad mind set right now. Very negative and burnt out. Exhausted from working all the time and getting no financial rewards. And very poor! :-(

*And the best part of my life right now: my first mortgage is going up $250 a month. Got the letter last week notifying me of the increase. They won't even talk to me since I'm still paying my mortgage on time. Nice! I have two mortgages and the second one will go up too. I can't refinance since I owe more on my condo than it's worth right now. So, I'm screwed. Gotta love life. When you are down, you are DOWN! I am looking for a roommate to help defer the costs. If you know of anyone, let me know. I'm also posting an ad on Craig's List.

This is my life. Shitty right now. I think I need to go back into counseling again. I'm really having a hard time dealing with stuff. My personal life sucks. My professional life sucks. Trying to focus on what is good in my life and I just can't seem to do it.

End of vent/bitch/losing mind session. :-(

Is it OK to have nap time in High School????

I'm so exhausted that I can't even think straight right now.

Things at school are very busy. No time for anything.

Just a few updates and shout outs:
*Congrats to my friend Traci and her husband Mark: they had a baby boy, Joseph Murphy a few days ago. I'm so happy for you both. Big bro Jeffrey is doing well too. :-)

*Got a phone call for a second job interview for next week. We shall see. . . . . .

*Book Club on Thursday evening. We read this book. I enjoyed it. Highly recommend it!

*Junior Prom at my high school last Friday night: 20 kids in a limo were drinking and got caught. A ton of other kids at the Prom were drunk too. The administration isn't doing much about it. Joy.

*I have the Sophomore Social dance next Friday. The rumor mill with the kids is that a group of kids will shop at the Social drunk. Double joy!

*I need to keep reminding myself that I'm splitting a $650 stipend to be a class advisor and all this added stress is SO not worth it. Triple Joy!

*Had an MRI on Tuesday night. I was scared shitless! :-)

*I'm working all this weekend, I have 23 Honors 5-page research papers to grade, 60 projects on Storming of the Bastille, and grades are due on Wednesday of next week. Can M-Dawg do it?

*I'm being formally evaluated next Thursday. Ugh.

*Have a retirement party for a former colleague at my first school next Thursday night. Oh, I'm interviewing for his job. How weird will that be?????????

*I haven't had a day off from school or the doggie store since Easter (March 23rd). I don't have a day off until April 12th.

OK, maybe this turned into more of a bitch fest. Sorry. This is what happens when you are tired. Oh, I had the 8th grade Open House tonight at my school and didn't get home until after 9:00 pm. I've been at school since 6:45 am. Long freaking day!

Tomorrow, instead of teaching, can I have nap time in all of my classes????????????????

You really didn't need that second parking space, did ya M-Dawg?

When I bought my condo almost three years ago, it came with two parking spaces. I hemmed and hawed about whether or not I should sell the second space but I decided to keep the second space for the value that it might add when I go to sell the condo later on.

I currently rent out the second parking space to a couple on the other side of the building because their unit only came with one parking spot and they have two cars.

Tonight, I come home to find a garbage dumpster IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PARKING SPACE!!! And, five poles have been installed into the pavement to put up fencing around the dumpster. Nice!

So my concern in the beginning of this drama was the couple and where would they park their car? I called them and left a message explaining to them I don't know what is going on and when I find something out, I'll let them know. And then my concern was that this is MY PROPERTY and I PAY TAXES on it. The fact that my condo association never notified me started to piss me off.

Since we are run by an association, we don't have any contact info except an emergency pager number and email address. So, I contacted both to ask what was the deal? I have yet to get a response from either.

Meanwhile, the couple that rents my parking spot called me to tell them THEY were called today at work to let them know that the parking spot had been relocated and they still have a parking space. Nice. No phone call to me. I still have no idea where they moved the space. From what the couple told it's a temporary space until they (the association) can figure where to move the space permanently.

And the best part of the story: If there was any mentioning of this type of thing in the condo documents - I would have no clue. Why? Because I don't have the condo docs. I've been emailing the association since I moved in here almost three years ago and they keep promising they would get me a copy. I'm still waiting. The documents would have any restrictions, rules, fines, property info, etc. on not only my condo but whole building and grounds.

I'm so mad right now. Apparently, I'm asking too much from my association. Good thing I pay condo dues, heh?

Why is it that the first week back from a break is the longest week ever????

The week was rough. Long. Insane. Exhausting.

Monday was a long day . . . we had an incident occur over the Feb break with five of our students. Four of our senior boys gang raped a junior girl at a party and another one of our senior boys watched it. The kids were all wound up and chatty about it. In my Current World Affairs class, one of the kids brought it up as a "Current Event" and I told them that the police reports were off limits for discussion for Current Events. All they wanted to do was gossip about what happened and I refused to discuss it with them. This isn't the only time they've done this in class. A few weeks ago, one of our bus drivers was arrested for domestic abuse - he beat the hell out of his son with a baseball bat. I have his son in one of my classes. The Current World Affairs class tried to "discuss it" and I shut they down and said NO! It's not appropriate. They just don't get it . . . . .

We had a dept meeting on Wednesday and it got a little nasty. We were discussing common assessments (midterm and final exams) and members of my dept are totally against it. I understand their perspective but this is the world of No Child Left Behind . . . . we have NO choice! We are being told by our Superintendent and Principal to accomplish this task. Just do it. Get over it. End of story. Most schools in this country have been doing common assessments for years. Every school I've ever worked at has common assessment for midterm and finals. People began turning against each other in this meeting. I just sat there and shook my head. Afterwards, my colleagues on the freshman team and I went downstairs and commented on how relieved we are that the four of us like working together and are open minded and willing to do what needs to get done for this common assessment stuff.

I had a melt down on my housemaster aka Asst. Principal on Friday about my SPED co-teacher. I have officially hit the wall with him. I got pulled out of class for a meeting on Thursday so they had a sub for me plus he's supposed to be in the room. When I returned at the end of the day, the sub wrote down all these horrible stuff about my kids and how some kids left the room and didn't come back, some were disruptive, etc. I was curious about where was my lovely SPED teacher so the next day, I confronted him and he told me two different stories. One story was he said he had a meeting. The other story was the sub told him that she didn't need him and he could leave - which story is it? And, since when does a sub tell a teacher what they should do? I need to point out that he's also under the assumption that when the regular ed teacher is out of the class, he doesn't have to be in the classroom - a few of the SPED teachers think this way but from what I'm told, it's NOT the RULE. The other huge issue I have is that every one of my students on an IEP in the co-taught class is failing my class. I do the best I can with the accommodations but this man does nothing. It's HIS JOB to follow all the IEP's too. He doesn't even know the kids or even their names! Sitting in the back of my classroom and falling asleep is the name of game for this teacher. My housemaster told me he's going to interview the other three history teachers in the freshman house to see if the SPED teacher does the same thing in their classes. Off the record, they tell me he sleeps and does nothing in their classes too. I'll be curious to see if they tell the truth about this guy. I understand that they don't want the guy to lose his job but this is about the kids not getting their legal rights. By law, these accommodations need to be met. Unfortunately, most of our parents don't understand the IEP (due to language issues) so these kids have no advocate for their education. So I guess the advocate would be me. I'll update soon.

And, I'm working all weekend at the doggie store. I really need a vacation!

So, that's the scoop on the past week. Makes ya want to run out and become a teacher, doesn't it???

Whew! It's been forever since I've posted anything on this blog!

Sorry folks! I know it's been a long time since I've written on the blog. The life of M-Dawg continues to be busy and crazy. I am alive. I am kicking. I am exhausted! :-)

Let's see. . . where do I start?

*Survived midterm exam week and finished grades. I was extremely disappointed in my freshman co-taught class grades. Over half the class failed for 2nd quarter. Part of the problem is that the SPED teacher in the room with me does not do his job and help the students (please note that I've vented about this guy many times on this blog). I follow the accomodations according to their IEP (Individual Education Plans) as best as I can. By law, I have to follow their IEP's. I have 25 kids in the class and 16 of them are on IEP's. The SPED teacher is supposed to be in the room to help these kids. He doesn't help the kids. He sits in the back of the classroom and falls asleep. In the rare occassion when I do ask him to do something, he gives me an attitude. And yes, I've already went to his head teacher and administration to complain about him and the response was not supportive nor good. He does the same thing in the other four classes that he's supposed to be co-teaching in as well. So I know it's not just me. He's riding out his time until he retires so until then we all have to suffer - including the kids. The thing that makes me so angry . . . he makes the same salary that I make! I bust my ass to do my job and he does nothing. And they (government, media, public, etc.) wonders why public eduation is failing in this country???? This guy doesn't have the same case load of SPED kids that other SPED teachers have because "he can't handle anymore kids on his case load." (per an administrator). So the administration is aware that the guy doesn't do his job. The man falls asleep in his own SPED meetings with parents and kids! I've witnessed it folks! Scary! I feel bad for my kids not doing well but there isn't anything I can do.

*The school system I work in ended up getting a loan from the state government to try and save all the teacher positions. We ended up losing 5 paraprofessionals and two custodians and 1 secretary in the end of the budget crisis. The numbers were going to be higher. Plus, the community rallied and donated over $400,000 to save jobs as well. FYI: The auditors finished their investigation and turned everything over the police to investigate the Business Manager that did all this craziness. Let's hope they fry the guy! Good news out of this experience: the city is looking to consolidate the city and school budgets. Read about it here.

*I starting teaching a new course called Current World Affairs. 10th-12th graders can take the class. I am very excited to be teaching this class because over the summer, I helped write the curriculum for it. The kids seem to be enjoying it too. The first week was interesting because a lot of seniors thought it was going to be a blow off class and I made it quite clear that it was an academic class that required work to be completed. I even assigned a two page typed essay on the first day! Kids started dropping out like flies! :-) I even have some kids contracting for honors credit for the course. The other teacher that helped write the curriculum over the summer is also teaching a section of it so her and I have been meeting once a week to plan together. She taught a section of it last semester but she found that it was tough on her own. She told me that I've been helping her stay focused and more on task. And, I guess I'm the creative one when it comes to activities so she loves that too.

*On the personal homefront, had a funny experience on Match.com. Yes, I went back to trying the online dating thing. I'm having a really hard time meeting guys so I figured, what the hell??? So, I post my profile and a few pictures of me on the site. I get an email from a 72 year old man. Yes, 72 years old. It gets better people. In this email, he asks me, "Would I like to play with his 'two Irish pototoes'"!!!!!!!!!!!! Dear God . . . he's a dirty old man! And, I check out his profile and his age requirement is 18-38 only! My age requirement was 32-48 (I'm going to be 37 next week). So that's my funny story of the week. At least I can laugh about it????

*Have school this week and then I'm off for a week for Feb break. Half of my break will be with Harvard Mock Congress and 13 students in Boston. Really could use a bit of a break.

*Yes, I will be 37 on the 14th of this month. I'm trying to grasp the idea that I'm getting old! :-)

Oh, sorry about the mispellings in this post. Blogger won't let me spellcheck for some reason???

Any news with you folks out there????

I still have my job . . . for now.

Just wanted to give an update on the cuts. You can read about it here.

The 11 cuts ended up being 9 because my Principal and the three assistant principals took a pay cut to save 2 teacher jobs. Unfortunately, they are not making it public that the administrators took the pay cut.

I made it through this first round. Now I have to worry about possible bumping next week.

The support staff won't be told about their cuts until Monday. I don't think it is fair to them. They've been just as stressed about this drama as the teachers. I think we are going to lose the majority of our support staff.

This situation is so sad and ridiculous! All because of one man that screwed the city!

The Principals referred to Friday as "Black Friday" - how true is that statement????

Please continue to be thinking happy thoughts and positive vibes for my school community. We took a huge blow on Friday. :-(

Update: M-Dawg is "hanging"

Had an emergency faculty meeting on Monday and received a memo from the Superintendent in our mailbox.

There are going to be 20 teachers cut from my building alone. I can't even begin to describe the sense of stress, emotions, and resentment that filled that auditorium. The atmosphere in my building is horrible right now. I need to point out that it's not that positive to begin with so it's even worse now.

We were informed today that the positions cut are now down to 11 teachers. At last nights school committee meeting, the city was able to "find" some money to reduce the number to 11 instead of 20. There are going to be over 100 total positions cut city wide (includes secretaries, aides, custodians, and teachers).

Those folks being cut will be called out of their classes on Friday to be told the icky news. They (the administration) expects us to work two more weeks (gotta give those midterm exams and complete grades before they shit can your ass) and it's done. No more teaching.

The word has spread to the kids. They are upset too. So now I'm dealing with their emotions as well as my own. Joy!

Those that remain behind are left to the horrible task of having increased class sizes (in most cases over the 30 mark which violates contract) and dealing with angry students and parents of why their child had to switch teachers and schedule changes mid-year. Double Joy!

Life just sometimes sucks! :-(

Please be thinking happy vibes for myself and my fellow colleagues this week. It's been a rough week and we are trying to hang in there but it's really tough.

All sorts of stress going on in M-Dawg's world . . . .

I'm the first one to admit that I haven't been very happy at my school. However, for now, it does pay the bills and as long as I'm in the classroom with the kids, life would be a good thing.

Due to recent developments in my school system, the 2008 school budget is short $1.8 million (the odds are pretty good that the number will go up after a week of back tracking the books). Why? Because some idiot for the city (the Business Manager) was being "creative" with the books and moved money around and decided to pay last years bills with this years budget money. Oh, he longer works for the city - he left in September.

So, who will suffer????? There needs to be some drastic cuts within the next week and the decision has been made to start cutting "in areas that cost the city high amounts." Teacher salaries and benefits is a part of that high cost. So, the Superintendent will be making a decision of who will be cut ASAP.

Oh, guess who is low man in the seniority of her department and has a high chance of being laid off and cut?????????????

Trying to keep life in perspective these days.

Blogging is a place for me to vent my feelings and emotions. I've been looking at a lot of my posts and I realize how negative they can be at times.

I don't mean to be so negative. I just need to vent those feelings and emotions out there. I sound like a broken record at times. School sucks. My love life sucks. My money situation sucks. Etc, etc, etc.

I will try and be more positive in my posts. I can't guarantee every single post will be cheerful and positive but I will do my best to look at the positives in my life. I know I have plenty:

*My family. They are the strength of my being. Even if I don't always say it or tell them, I do love them and appreciate having them in my life.

*My friends. I have some awesome "peeps" in my life. Over the past few years, I've had to weed out the unhealthy friends out of my life. Some have been by my choice. Some by their choice. I've very blessed to have my friends that support and love me for ME.

*Ellie the Cat. Pets are great. They love you unconditionally. Ellie is no exception! When I was sick last week, she knew something was "up" with her Momma and stuck by my side the entire time. She would cuddle on the couch with me and give me a lick on the face here and there to make sure I was OK.

*My job. Yes, things at school have been sooooo stressful with no contract. But, I need to be grateful that I even have a job. I need to accept myself as an educator and realize that I can only do so much for these kids. I also need to not take everything so personal and to heart.

So, I will try and keep my life in perspective. Thanks for listening aka reading! :-)