Pressure (to quote David Bowie and Queen)!

The pressure is on . . . . . . .

8-10 page thematic essay and 3-5 day lesson plan due on Sunday!

Ugh.

Blah!

(I know you have that song in your head now! Hah!) :-)

How do you like yourself?

I promised myself that I would work on ME this summer. Getting myself into a better frame of mind: physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Here is the update.

The mental part has been difficult. It's been really hard to think positively about myself when I don't like myself. So I've been trying to work on liking myself (not that I ever did like myself). When I was younger, I used to "fake" being happy since that is what everyone in my life seemed to expect of me. I realize that people can't be happy 24/7 but I can be happy some of the time. I've felt like a hypocrite since I'm always telling my students to like and love themselves and accept themselves for who they are or are becoming in this world. How can I tell my students to like themselves when I don't even like me for me? There are a lot of reasons why I've felt like I was never good enough. Some of it stems from child hood crap which I don't want to get into on this blog. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and realized that there are some people in my life that bring me down as a person. I'm working on removing this folks out of my life. I also work in two jobs that don't appreciate me (being a teacher speaks for itself and the other job is a long story). Regarding the teaching aspect, I'm working on trying to be positive in a very negative environment. If it means that I have to isolate myself and not be around the negative people, that is what I will have to do. The best feeling I have in the world is being in the classroom with my students and teaching them World History. The other job scenario: I can no longer be trusted (according to the owner) due to an incident and she believes what she wants of me no matter what I say to her. I can't work for someone that doesn't trust me. So, I will be doing some soul searching (and looking for another job) to better that situation. I've worked there for almost four years and all that retail experience is down the drain (I don't think I could even use the owner as a reference since I can't trust her to say anything nice about me). Nothing I do (or anyone else that works in the store) is good enough and it gets old after a while. I've also become very resentful that I have to work a second job after teaching for ten years. I'm sick of always working and never getting ahead. I adore the dogs. They are the best part of the job. But I've felt like I've been in an emotional abused relationship the past few years working there. I completely acknowledge that I'm not always the easiest person to be around at times but either is the owner (we are both VERY MUCH alike when it comes to be moody which is why we clash - I see that - she does not). So I'm going back to being "fake happy" to please her and that is not the way I want to live my life. The soul searching continues . . . . . . . . . .

The physical part has been a struggle. My shoulder still bothers but I'm putting off getting the surgery. I'm hoping that if I lose some weight, it might help the pain in my shoulder. I'm eating better now and exercising. I figure that if I look better and healthier, maybe I will like myself too. Food has always been an addiction of mine and I'm an emotional eater. Hence, the weight issues. Since I start coaching volleyball the end of August, I figured that I better get back into shape again. Gotta be a positive role model to the girls on the team! :-)

The spiritual part is also a struggle for me. I've been trying mediation to help relax me. Formal/organized religion doesn't seem to work (I was brought up Catholic and I don't believe in what the church stands for anymore). I feel like I need some type of spirituality in my life to grow as a person.

It's been a struggle but I'm working on it . . . . one day at a time. I don't expect miracles. But being truly happy and content with my life would be a wonderful way to start out the school year.

Thank you to all my supportive friends and Blog buddies - you all rock! :-)

How did you spend your day off? Touching REALLY old letters!

Greetings!

Yesterday, I spent the day reading through old documents at a historical society. By old I mean like around 1775! I read letters from a soldier to his wife during the American Revolution! How cool is that????? I even got to wear the white "Mickey Mouse" gloves to read through all the letters . . . . in case you are not aware of it - our hands (skin) have oils on them that can destroy the letters so you have to wear the protective gloves to preserve the letters. The handwriting was difficult to read since the ink had faded over the years and the spelling was quite "unique" - for example, they spelled "which" this way: WITCH. Reminded me of my students and their spelling habits. :-)

I then went to a public library to research old newspaper articles from the time period as well. Everything is on microfilm and I could make copies of the articles.

So far, I've come up with some good material and primary source information for my lesson plan for the Using Essex History class. And, I'm pumped about using the materials in my local History class that I teach at my school.

That due date is coming quick! :-)

Finished up the Using Essex History class and now it's time to write a thematic essay and lesson plan!

The Using Essex History class that I took last week was great! I really enjoyed the various topics each day:
*Day 1 - American Revolution (The National Heritage Museum - Lexington)
*Day 2 - Civil War (Marblehead Historical Museum - Marblehead)
*Day 3 - Westward Expansion (St. Joseph's Hall - Salem)
*Day 4 - Civil Rights Movement (National Archives - Waltham)
*Day 5 - Nathaniel Hawthorne (The House of Seven Gables - Salem)

Each day was filled with lectures from professors on each topic, a field trip of the facility we were hanging out in, and time to look at primary sources and analyze them and brainstorm teaching ideas in groups with other teachers (there were 30 teachers that were chosen from Essex County). Our day started at 9:00 am and lasted until 4:00 pm. A long day but sooooo productive! My brain hurt at the end of the day! :-)

So, now the fun part begins! Prior to the class, I had to read four books and a packet of readings designed for each of the five days. We had to turn in one book review and three book note papers during the week. Due on August 3rd, I have to write a 8-10 page thematic essay and a 3-4 day lesson plan.

Between now and the due date - I have two days off from work and one of which I'm spending at the Beverly Historical Society to research letters from the American Revolution.

The bonus: I get 3 graduate credits (since it is a grant, I don't have to pay for the credits) and a $1,000 stipend. Yahoo! :-)

And, the race begins! I'll keep you posted. :-)

Bonding meeting was a success! :-)

Last night, the Freshman House had a bonding meeting at a local restaurant to discuss the past school year and goals for next school year.

I have to say that almost every single teacher in the Freshman House came to the meeting. The fact that we attended this meeting during our time off is a huge deal.

Our house master (aka Asst. Principal) had some positive data to share with us. Our failure rate went down by 16% this year! Every single year the Freshman House has been in existence at my school, we have seen improvement. Some of the biggest goals of the House is to help with the transition from Middle to High School and the expectations of being in High School AND to decrease the drop out rate at my school. There has been a slight decrease but not as much as we would like to see. I guess we need to be patient and see what will happen . . . after sophomore year is when we see the drop out rate increase (in most classes).

One of the goals for next school year we discussed was to create a more community feel in the Freshman House. We also scheduled two more bonding meetings this summer for the teachers.

Oh, I'm on a new team and I LOVE IT! The English and Math teacher are great friends of mine (the Math teacher and I are co-advisers for the Class of 2010 so we are already used to working with each and get along great). We do have a new Science teacher - she's fresh out of college so she will probably need some support. She seems nice and willing to work as a team. Compared to this past school year, I'm looking forward to moving on and working with a group of people that are in this for the kids and the school community. :-)

And, the SPED teacher that I worked with for the past two years is no longer in the Freshman House. He's still working with the Social Studies teachers but from what I understand the administrators are working very hard to not schedule him with me. Yeah!!!! :-)

Working with the dogs . . . . .

I'm here. Alive and kicking. Barely. :-)

Been working a ton of hours at the doggie store. Compared to last summer, the store hasn't been that busy. I'm sure the high gas prices is keeping a lot of people away from traveling and spending money. It is great to see all the dogs. They rock my world! :-)

I've been getting over food poisoning so I haven't been myself for a week. I'm feeling much better but my body doesn't want to be 100% yet.

I've also been doing a lot of the reading for my class that begins next week. I have a lot of work to do before next Monday - four books need to be read, one book review paper, and three note summaries need to be written. Unfortunately, the readings are boring so it's difficult to get through them at a fast pace. I don't mind reading historical books as long as they are interesting and to the point.

It's been hot and humid here in New England. I don't do well with humidity . . . I finally had to turn my A/C on today. I've been lucky most of the summer . . . . my condo is located on the first floor so it remains relatively cool during the day. However, today it got a little too warm for me so I turned on A/C.

Ellie the Cat has the right idea . . . . just hang out on the futon! :-)

Reflection of the school year

Every educator should reflect about the previous school year. You think about what you did right, what you did wrong, what needs to be improved, what needs to stay in your curriculum or get rid of some boring activity or project, etc. Reflection helps you to grow as a teacher.

My school year has been rather dramatic as a whole. First we had no contract for two years and then the budget cuts/teacher lay offs in January. However, I still had to put a smile on my face every single day and continue to teach and do the best job that I knew how to do.

I taught two new courses this year. The local history class was a challenge since I'm not a native New Englander but my students were resilient and patient with me and stuck by me. The students helped to create new projects for the course which was fun. I even did one field trip. I'm hoping to increase the field trips for the course this next school year. And, the best part: I'm going to incorporate service learning into the curriculum so my students will be working with one of the local historical homes and doing some joint projects and activities.

The second course I taught this year I helped co-write the curriculum. Current World Affairs was definitely a work in progress but again the students were patient and understanding and worked through the curriculum with me. Next school year, I won't be teaching the CWA class but I feel that I left the curriculum in great shape.

I had my 9th grade World History classes fill out a teacher evaluation on the last day of school. I asked that they not put their name on the sheet and to be HONEST. Some of the comments were interesting:
*Loved the PowerPoints - short and to the point!
*Too many PowerPoints - too long and too much note taking!
*Loved the projects.
*Favorite unit: French Revolution.
*Favorite unit: World War I and II.
*Spent too much time in the Middle Ages.
*Suggestion: Prepare us more for the seven page research paper - like have mini papers prior to the big paper.
*Suggestion: Field trips
*More projects
*NO more projects
*Group projects
*More hands-on activities.
*End of year party??????
*You were my favorite teacher.
*I looked forward to coming to class every day - you are ONE crazy lady! :-)

Some students even thanked me for teaching them and wished they could have me next year. I didn't get one bad comment so I don't know if that's good or bad. I'd like to think they were being honest with me. And, I don't read the evaluations until after grades are submitted (this was stated to them and I typed it on the sheet).

Regarding World History curriculum, the other three History teachers and I decided that we will be eliminating the first quarter of curriculum. The middle school is supposed to be teaching it (they don't teach it - they teach whatever they want) so we decided that in order for us to get past World War II next year, we need to eliminate the first half of the World History curriculum. The good news (this is questionable good news) is that our state does not test on World History (I guess knowing World History isn't that important) but they do test on US History. And, considering the role of the United States in History during the 20th century, we figured it would be important to support the US History curriculum to get as far to the present day as possible.

We will start with the Middle Ages and work our way to the present day by the end of the school year. I would like us to start at the Enlightenment but baby steps shall be made with the curriculum. We shall see if we can handle this massive goal -

A goal of mine for next year is to continue to work on pacing. I'm terrible at it. I barely made it to World War II by the end of the school year so I know that I need to stay on task and pace my way through the curriculum. The other World History teachers and I struggle with the pacing so it's reassuring that I'm not the only one but we all agree that we need to make some changes for next school year.

And, we still have no formal/written World History curriculum. My colleague and I spent our duty block working on some of the curriculum units toward the end of the school year but we still need to get more completed. There was no money to actual pay us this summer to write curriculum so it looks like we may do the same thing next school year during our duty.

So, overall, the school year was dramatic, busy, stressful, and productive for the most part.

I would give myself a B+ for the school year. :-)

"School's Out for Summer . . . . " sing it with me!

FINALLY!

School is officially done!

Visual: M-Dawg doing a dance all around her condo.

What are the big summer plans?

No, I'm not traveling this summer. A lot of folks have been asking me that question. I've grounded myself (financial stuff prohibits me from going anywhere this summer). Blah!

I'll be working at Paws all summer. So, if you are visiting the New England area, stop by and visit me. And, bring your doggie. I'll hook up your doggie with a nice treat!

I received a Using Essex History grant so I'll be attending an institute for five days in July. Get this: I get 3 graduate credits, 30 PDP's, and a $1,000 stipend. Nice! There is a TON of work to complete but it's a good ton of work. :-)

And, it looks like I'll be the new JV girl's volleyball coach at my school so the season starts on August 21st.

Of course, I'll be hanging out with friends too. Gotta throw in some crazy M-Dawg time too. :-)

What are your summer plans????

Happy Father's Day to my Dad and all the Dad's out there!

This is a picture of Mom and Dad in front of their soon to be new home.

Dad - Happy Father's Day to my Daddy! I know we disagree on a lot (OK, almost everything) but you are my Daddy and I love you! You are always there to support me and be there for me through all my crazy dumb blond moves. :-) Who was it that showed me how to ride a bike (yes, through all my tears and crying) and drive a car (through your tears and crying)? My Daddy! :-)

Enjoy your Father's Day!

Love Ya!!!!!

7 more wake up days until school is OUT!

Quick summary of the past week:

*Seven fire alarms in three days set off by students.

*We had our eighth fire alarm set off today by a kid.

*Autistic student had major melt down in my classroom over the Holocaust PowerPoint I showed the class. I warned him and asked him if he would leave the classroom since it would upset him. I was right. He was wrong. He freaked out.

*Seniors FINALLY graduated!

*I asked my SPED teacher to modify the final exam. He told me it didn't need to be modified. I showed it to two other SPED teachers and they said it NEEDS to be modified. Guess what history teacher will end up doing her SPED teacher's job AGAIN??????????

*Trying to get all my curriculum taught by Friday since final exams are next week. Yeah, try teaching World War II and the Holocaust in three 90 minute classes with fire alarms going off at the same time. :-(

*Sophomore class officers STILL haven't booked their Junior prom venue yet (they are supposed to book it by this Friday). SO not going to happen.

*I'm trying to correct country portfolio binders from the Current World Affairs classes. The kids didn't follow the directions so the grades are LOW. Oh, this portfolio binder counts as their final exam (two test grades) for 4th quarter.

*Did I mention 7 more wake up days until summer vacation???????????????????

Memorial Day

This photo was taken in July 2005 at the American Cemetery in Normandy, France.

You can read about the history of Memorial Day here. It should be noted that the history goes back to at least the Civil War although there is some speculation that it goes back even further.

As a child growing up, I can remember every year on Memorial Day, my grandparents (on my Mom's side) and my family would go to the cemetery and place flowers on the graves of loved ones. And, the local cemetery would have a Memorial Day parade go right through the cemetery. The cemetery had all the American flags of vets that had died hanging on flag poles that lined the parade route. Once my grandpa died, his flag would be flown along the route as well. My grandfather fought in World War II (Battle of the Bulge).

Even back then, I remember feeling thankful and appreciative of what our veterans did to sacrifice MY freedom today. This also may be another reason why I enjoy History so much - that I would not be here today if not for the sacrifice of my relatives during the Civil War, World War I, and World War II.

At 3:00 pm today, please remember to do a moment of silence. You can read more about it here.

Happy Birthday to my Sis - Mandy!!!!

This is a picture of Mandy with her favorite band group - the Goo Goo Dolls! Mandy is the girl in the jean skirt and light greenish top. Yes, that is John Rzeznik (lead singer) in the middle! :-)

Mandy spent a few days down in Florida for a relaxing vacation. She returned to lovely Chicago weather . . . in the 60's.

Happy Birthday to my baby sis - you turn 33 years old today and you don't look a day over 30! Ha!

Seriously, I love ya and thank you for being a great sister.

Hugs!

It's been a long school year . . . .

Thank you for all your comments and words of support on the last post.

My last day of school is June 20th and it can't come soon enough. I hate wishing my life away but it's been one hell of a school year.

Still don't know anything about the cuts. My principal is still going through cut process. The rumor mill claims that 19 teachers will be leaving on their own merit at the end of the school year anyway so maybe that will save some jobs.

Because of the horrible contract that was voted in and all the teacher cut drama that occurred in January, I think most people are fed up with my school system.

Not a lot of teaching jobs out there for History/Social Studies. And, when I do apply, I'm guessing the reason why they won't call me in for an interview is that I'm too expensive to hire. Why hire someone with 10 years teaching experience when you can hire someone under 3 years and pay them less money? I'd like to point out that you get what you pay for but school districts don't care in this day and age of saving money.

So, it's the waiting game. We shall see what happens over the next few weeks.

I'm not posting a lot because this time of the school year is very busy and rough with activities going on almost every single day after school or in the evenings. My calendar for school has no empty time after school or in the evenings. And throw in all the correcting, grades, and trying to finish up my World History curriculum (World War II come hell or high water!) by the end of the school year and my brain is on overload! It's crazy! And, I'm not able to read a lot of blogs until the weekend. I actually had Saturday off so I was able to catch up on my blog reading and comments.

I've also been thinking a lot about how negative this blog has been or gotten the past school year. Over the summer, I'll be doing some "housecleaning" of my life and my blog. :-) I'm going to work on trying to put myself in a better mind set, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Stay tuned . . . . .

So, be good. Be safe. And, I'll be writing soon. Just a break. :-)

Updates . . . . . . and Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom - Joela. She's a rockin' lady!!! :-)

Updates:
*Budget cuts will occur at my school by the end of the school year. The stress and drama returns. Please be thinking happy thoughts . . . . I've been applying to schools but I'm too expensive to hire (It will be 10 years of teaching next school year for me).

*I applied for a Summer Institute for a week in July and got it. They are going to pay me $1000 stipend and 3 graduate credits for five days of work. Bonus! :-)

*It's been a rough school year. Between no contract, budget cut drama in January, rough students on my team, my team (teachers) not getting along, having an "illegal" teaching schedule (by contract, I'm supposed to get a 90 minute planning period every day; I'm getting a 40 minute planning period on the second day which is in violation of our teaching contract), and having the SPED teacher from hell, I'm really ready for the school year to be over. I'm exhausted. :-(

*A few weeks ago my colleagues and I were lucky enough to have a Professional day to write out our Common Assessment for final exams. The four of us were excited to be collaborating since we all get along and work well together. For the first hour, we were doing great. Then guess who decided to join us? That SPED teacher that I've been complaining about for the past two years! He invited himself to our common assessment day! He did nothing! I mean it! Nothing! Except sleep of course! I actually took a picture of him sleeping w/ one of my colleagues cell phone! I know . . . not the most professional thing to do but we all thought it might provide photo evidence of what is actually going on in our classrooms. We ended up deleting the photos but it was funny! Sad but funny. He would occasionally interrupt us and talk about stuff that had nothing to do with the Common Assessment. At one point, one of my colleagues got fed up. So, I went down to our Housemaster to tell him what was going on (The Housemaster is the one that arranged for us to meet to complete the Common Assessment). My Housemaster was annoyed that the SPED teacher was not doing what he was supposed to be doing and that the SPED teacher crashed the "party" so to speak. BUT, he still allowed the SPED teacher to stay with us for the entire day. I swear my administrators need to grow some balls and stop worrying about "hurting" feelings (this is how it was explained to me). Never mind that the SPED guy does nothing and doesn't accommodate the students needs.

*My co-advisor and I will be resigning at the end of the school as class advisers to the Class of 2010. The Sophomore Social stuff and all the drama from the past year is ridiculous so we've had enough. The Class President is difficult to work with and the rest of the class officers do nothing. And, I'm sick of it. And, I'm sick of the President telling me that I'm not doing everything when in reality I do a lot. It is not my job to do HIS job. I tell him what needs to be done because I'm trying to teach him responsibility. He doesn't see that so I'm the bitch and bad guy.

*Wish I could report more on my love life. The online dating just didn't work. I'm such a romantic and kept wishing for some great, nice guy to sweep me off my feet. True love is not meant for me. It's sad but it's the reality. I'm accepting that it's not meant for me to be married or have children. At 37 years old, slightly overweight, and not a catch . . . . it is what it is.

So, these are the updates in the life of M-Dawg.

36 more teaching days . . . . maybe NOT!

Does the title of this post state it all? How much do I want the school year to be over? Let me count the ways!

I know it's not a good thing to wish your life away but in this case . . . . 36 days left of the school year baby!

Out of those 36 days, technically, there are 24 actual teaching days left. Why? MCAS (state testing), final exam week, Diversity Day, and I'm out of school tomorrow for a Professional Day.

And, my school is on block scheduling so to make this post even MORE fun I technically only have 12 teaching days with my classes. I see my students every other day. 12 days with my freshman World History kids to teach the following: Industrial Revolution, Imperialism, Nationalism, Unification of Germany and Italy, WW I, and WW II and the Holocaust.

OK, now I'm really stressed!

Blah! :-(

April Break - Part III

What can I say? I live such an exciting life!

The hair-do on Thursday turned out nice. It's much lighter and a tad bit shorter too.

Hanging out at Barnes & Noble is my fav place in the world. Was productive! I was able to grade three classes of work! After all the grading I did at the end of 3rd quarter, I sorta went on strike and didn't want to grade for a while. Unfortunately, that meant that I had a ton of correcting to do!

I didn't end up making it to the beach. It was such a beautiful day and I spent it inside a bookstore. Oh well.

Worked at Paws on Friday. This economy is still not picking up so I wasn't that busy in the store. I hope it picks up soon.

I'm watching my neighbor's dog, Otto in the evenings for the next week. I have to feed him and walk him. Last night, I took him to Newburyport for an hour walk. Otto is a Schnauzer and such a cutie pie! He's my little buddy! I'll try and remember to take some pics of Otto.

The rest of the weekend plans: working at Paws on Saturday and Sunday. Hanging out w/ Otto in the evenings. Attending a poetry reading on Sunday afternoon here.

Back to school on Monday! Blah! When I get back, I'll have to unpack a few of my boxes and set up my classroom. Thank goodness I have the first two blocks off on Monday! :-)

Enjoy your weekend!

Happy Anniversary to Cheryl and Brian - a day late!

Happy Anniversary to Cheryl and Brian!

A belated post but I was thinking of you guys yesterday!!!

Hope you were able to have some alone time together and Brian took ya out for dinner!!!

Lots of hugs and love!!!!

April break - Part II

On Wednesday, I was invited to one of my former colleagues home for lunch up in NH. It was a lovely weather day! Sunny. Bright. And, the company was nice too! :-)

Rest of the day: I cleaned my car. Paid the bills. Cleaned the condo. Productive yet busy.

Today, I have a hair appointment to get my hair highlighted and cut here. Oh, the eyebrows need a touch up too. The gal that does my hair always does such a nice job. Why can't I do my hair the same way????

After the hair, I'm planning on heading to Barnes & Noble and do some correcting for a few hours. Need to correct those French Revolution tests!

Tonight, I might try a drive out to the beach and take a walk. It's been forever since I've been to the beach. I only live 15 minutes away from the ocean!

The weather this week in New England has been amazing! Couldn't ask for a better weather week off from school.

Enjoy your day -

April vacation week - part I

On Monday, I drove out to Northampton, MA (western MA) to meet some gals for Delta Kappa Gamma stuff. It was a two hour and 13 minute drive one way. The drive was long but incredibly scenic! I drove through the Berkshire Mountains and saw the Green Mountains of Vermont.

I got involved at the state level of DKG. I'm on the research committee and we had members fill out surveys. The committee met yesterday to go over the results. I have to put together a PowerPoint to present at the State Convention the weekend of May 2nd of our findings.

It was a very long drive and long day but productive. :-)

Today, I brought my car into Saturn to have it worked on (takes 8 hours). The head gasket has been leaking and I've been putting it off to get it fixed. I have a rental car - a PT Cruiser! I like it. Drives different than my Saturn. Not great on gas though . . . .

Well, I'm off to run some errands for the day (hence the rental car).

Enjoy your day!!! :-)

Four words!

I am on vacation!

Enough said!